So, I had totally intended on making this my last post of 2008, but I started a new job in mid-December, and to be honest, haven't had time to do anything outside of work other than holiday stuff with the family ~ priorities, ya know?
Without further ado, here's my list of some stuff that really pissed me off in 2008. I realize everything may not be limited to just 2008, but you get the picture...
10. Slow drivers in the passing lane - In Texas, it is a written law that Slower Traffic Must Keep Right. Furthermore, the left-most lane (on multi-lane roads) is intended for passing only. So, when I'm driving 80 mph in the left lane and you're driving 60 mph, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY.
9. "Check in the box management" - Before joining (and leaving) HP ASC, I was with a Fortune 200 retailer. After complaining about the quality of the annual external pen-test we received in 2006 (your name starts with a V, and you suck), my manager said, "Joey, you wouldn't be satisfied with anybody's work but your own, and besides, we like this kind of report - there's nothing for us to do." The only problem was my team continually performed internal pen-tests, and we knew damn well, not only did we have work to do, we weren't getting cooperation because of lais`sez faire attitudes like his. I can't speak about the details, but we'll just say that shortly after I left, I was able to send a big 'I told ya so' their way. This made the list for 2008 because, as a consultant, I can see this is still the prevalent corporate attitude. I expect it to be even worse in 2009, with the economy conveniently to blame.
8. Hack security consultants - No, not "hackers"; HACKS, charlatans, no-skill-sacks-of-crap. The guys Adriel talks about a lot that undercut thorough, professional services with pennies-on-the-dollar automated scans, sans validation, and no attempt at penetration. See above reference to the company that starts with a V. By the way, they aren't small, so what's their excuse?!
7. Moron, no-skill scuba divers killing coral reefs - I had the pleasure of a long week of diving in Cayman Brac a couple months ago (sup BJ & Tim!!), and had to deploy every bit of self control I have to not throttle the throats of a few divers that didn't understand the concept of STAY THE HELL OFF THE REEF. Look people, coral is very fragile - never touch the reef, stand on it, sit on it, or otherwise come in contact with it. Remember what your mother said, "Look, but don't touch!". And for bugger's sake, if you're a no-skill clown with no buoyancy control, leave the damn camera at home, because if I see you sitting on or beating my reef with your fins, I'm gonna give you a reason to abandon ship when I see you back on the boat.
6. Shark fishing - You morons are killing sharks at the alarming rate of 200 million per year. Do you have any idea what the oceans are going to be like after you cause the extinction of the apex predator? The delicate environmental balance of the world's seas depends on sharks. Get over your shark-fin soup, it isn't worth it.
5. PCI DSS v1.2 - You (SSC) took two years to come up with this steaming pile of crap? WTF are you spending all that ASV and QSA certification money on? For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, have a look at this post, which sums up my detailed feelings on the topic pretty well. Get your buggering act together, SSC, because it's not like we haven't told you what the standard needs to truly have some teeth and do some real good.
4. Sarah Palin - Wow, where do I begin? She's not even remotely qualified to be VP (much less Gov), she's a liar, she doesn't support the separation of church & state (a la Bush), she's staunchly ProLife, even in cases of rape and incest, and she is DUMB AS A POST (see any one of her campaign press interviews as proof). We've had a leader we could "sit down and have a beer with" people, get your head's out. Why do you think the leader of the free world should be someone you feel comfortable having a beer with? How about a real leader instead? I'm ranting because we haven't seen the last of her - somehow, 40% of you idiots think she should be PRESIDENT, forget about VP!
3. Global warming - There is concrete proof of polar ice melting. The lack of sea ice in the summer of 2007 astounded scientists - it was exponentially worse than they'd seen in ~50 years of tracking it! Weather systems, el niños if you will, are wreaking havoc around the world. Meanwhile, the Saudi Prince buys an Airbus, nullifying the $300mil the King gave to global warming research. Oh, and now it appears climate-change may be the next "cold war". As much as I'd like to be optimistic, the character of human kind, as displayed throughout history, causes the pessimist in me to well up. I guess the people in power don't fear the future for their children, because they assume their children will be in power, too? Why don't people understand that once we destroy Earth, we're done? Hey, this just in: the new EU President thinks climate change is bs! Who are the brilliant assclowns that voted for this guy?! Pity W. is on the way out, these guys would have gotten along famously!
2. Proposition 8 - For the record, I am not gay. I'm a happily married heterosexual male, but I do have gay friends. Prop 8 sums up how petty, gestapo-esque, and pathetic organized religion has become. I hear members of the Mormon church are leaving in droves because of the MILLIONS it spent on denying gay Americans' right to marriage. Guess what people - the radical Christians in this country are no different than radical Muslims in other parts of the world - NO different. Finally, marriage has only been a sacrament since the indelible St. Paul wrote about it in Ephesians (v23-32) - it existed simply as a contract LONG before that. What's going on right now is called 'taxation without representation', and IMO, gays should tell the government to go bugger itself until their rights are recognized.
1. The Bailout - Oh yeah, this is as big a cluster as we've ever seen. Haven't you heard, it's tough to keep track of $700 billion? And by the way, $700b is NOTHING - the actual bailout is over $8 trillion - no, that's not a typo! Most of that was handed out by Paulson, and he didn't even require authorization - he'd already been authorized by virtue of being the Treasury Secretary. Now if that's not a huge, steaming pile, I don't know what is.
Happy New Year (c:
